Scranton Reality Wanker
the s is for sucks (38🧓) (🔞•🚫🚔•🚫₿)
@tapestrybeast.bsky.social's portable thembo
icon: https://bsky.app/profile/palaeosinensis.com
banner: https://bsky.app/profile/tempusobscura.bsky.social
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- this is the new one to beat in the tragically underserved "fake steak" category. the closest texture and flavor to whole-muscle meat cuts I've tried. wouldn't know they're made from mushroom if you didn't see the box
- if you would like a sense of how good this was, i keep coming back to this post just to look at the picture & get Tummy Memories
- closer in bite to medium-rare tuna steak, but I honestly prefer it to the real thing. ...but is it really "plant-based" if it's fungi
- OFFICIAL MET GALA THREAD STARTS HERE
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View full threadthis should be working for me, but it isn't, and I can NOT figure out why like it ALMOST is but it's not quite
- well, she's been here the whole time
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- they saying that bitch got Arriettied. they said you sipping soups out of a bottle cap for WEEKS
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- the Jurassic cinematic universe has precisely two compelling narratives left to explore: "Jurassic World War" and "WOops We Invented Godzilla". anything less is wasting my Fucking time
- bad news: hornets moved into the old man birdhouse good news:
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- MicroSD XC EX has got to be the most retailer-befuddling branding since the New Nintendo 3DS XL
- happy birdday to my bb @tapestrybeast.bsky.social 😽~~~❤️🐦⬛
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- "g-golly, I sure hope there aren't any g-g-ghastly riffs on the prowl tonight..." THE NEFARIOUS PAPA V PERPETUA:
- thanks, i'll get right on that,
- tfw LinkedIn thinks you'd be a great fit for Skynet
- I rarely make such noise, but I could really use a bit of a revenue bump. I just paid $160 for dog food & $370 for Oberon's medications. These are outsized costs compared to most months. You need merch? I got it right here for you! www.redbubble.com/people/Paleo... & www.inprnt.com/gallery/pala...
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- it's bonkers. inflation monitoring rarely highlights pet expenses because they're considered "discretionary", but that's not true for service animals. in any case, 2/3rds of the US population owns at least one pet, so price gouging on their necessities (way beyond inflation) has widespread impacts
- really wanted to like The Day The Earth Blew up, but I think the problem is they went and made a whole movie about Porky Pig, a man who is bad to look at
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- i know terzo's not your fav but sad kazoo noises is a powerful pfp
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- the biggest buzz in EV right now is centered around a truck the size of a mini cooper (with optional solar panels). I preordered it in a heartbeat because there's nothing else like it on the horizon. major automakers are fools to ignore that market www.youtube.com/watch?v=wGu0...
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- [HHS employee checking email on the way out the door into rush hour traffic] Well golly, when you put it THAT way, I gotta reply!
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- as someone who'd lose out on an already diminished paycheck for unknown weeks if it happened: shut it down. better that than make all the illegal cuts a permanent part of the budget and legitimize them
- My staff and I are closely tracking the potential measles exposure in San Antonio that originated with a visitor from West Texas. If you visited any of the locations listed below, please watch out for symptoms (including fever or unexplained rash) and contact a doctor right away if they occur.
- keeping my hand as far from the lathe of heaven as possible here but it would really be something if a new measles pandemic caused by vaccine truthers had patient zero at Ripley's Believe it or Not
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- With that kind of untrusted sender flag, filters won't just send it to the spambox in Outlook. Any FISMA compliant Exchange implementation is going to banish that email to the shadow realm
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- mentally im here
- gotta be tough out there for jeff vandermeer. constantly composing complex, cryptic narratives that reward close inspection, but there are still far fewer hours of fan theory youtubes for all your books combined than for that one secret skeleton brother from Undertale
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- lol
- also frustrating that the main forum where his works get discussed (the southern reach subreddit) so often seems to be way off the mark with its analysis. I'm the only one who REALLY understands Area X... but I won't tell 🤫
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- NEW: DOGE put a $1 spending limit on government employee credit cards. Employees say overspending and fraud in the program was exceedingly rare. www.wired.com/story/doge-g...
- Government credit cards are used heavily for low-cost enterprise software licenses, certificate renewals, break/fix, and other time-sensitive IT infrastructure O&M. Cutting them off means when a $100 part on a critical server fails, it stays broken for 3+ months until the procurement gets processed
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- also, at least in my experience, trans
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- god damn this owns. gotta be my fav depiction of the bioleviathan I've seen (there are far too few), feels the truest to its description, so vast she's wrapping around the page break and everything
- obligatory concept sketch post you can see how well Miles translated @tapestrybeast.bsky.social's idea and my sloppy style mspaint into pitch perfect funny pages 4koma
- tfw you & your partner are such size trash that you get each other the exact same valentines cards
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- THEN WHO WAS PHONE??
- incredibly ominous
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- very sorry to hear this. don't have much podcast time these days, but Skulltenders was one of 3 "appointment listening" shows whenever it dropped, alongside Rude Tales & WBN. got me through some real rough patches and difficult drives. now whenever I pick up an allen wrench I'll always think of Odo
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- i'm afraid you're going to have to be more specific
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- most of the flavors of now stuff was over-topped and soggy, but whatever one had the lil cherry peppers, goodness gracious
- miss u babe
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- we found the jar jar bitch
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- maybe you should ask jar jar Bitch
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- we're quietly encouraging everyone to mark these as phishing
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- based on I'm hearing from colleagues today, would have to say 8 months is generous
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- here's the thing though: what if it's more like 90% what is stopping federal workers from using elon's little email bot to execute the largest strike in american history
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- im doing my part bsky.app/profile/sphr...
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- the mouse's mistake was not taking advantage of the bounce physics. should be able to get WAY more air if you time it right. maybe try yelling "wah" "wahoo" etc
