Mike Trapp
Currently, TV writer. Formerly, head writer of CollegeHumor. Futurely, sustenance for robot overlords.
- Animation timelines are wild. In January 2023, I interviewed for a staffing job on Big City Greens and pitched an idea called “Chocolate Santa.” Tomorrow, after working here for over two years, it’ll finally air on Disney+ So, check out my first episode… and the many more that will come after!
- A Great War is brewing…
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- You want thingamabobs? I’ve got twenty But who cares No big deal I want mooooooooore I want 21 thingamabobs
- If I’m reading this sign correctly, this faucet sprays spaghetti
- This moment from L. Frank Baum’s “The Wonderful Wizard of Oz” was immortalized in the movie with the Scarecrow’s beloved song, “If I Only Had A Psychopathic Ability To Kill Forty Crows With My Hands, One By One, By Breaking Their Necks”
- 🎶 It’s the Mickey Mouse Roadhouse Come inside There’s blood inside
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- “Legs! I Need Legs! LEGS!”
- Altoona desperately trying to be known for something other than its pizza
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- Acting tip: if you have a line like “what are you doing?” Or “where are you going?” pronounce the last word so it rhymes with “boing.” This is called “making a choice”
- “Many?” Really? MANY cheerful facts about the square of the hypotenuse? Sir, I believe that you know precisely one. And we ALL know that one.
- Playing with my food, Friday
- Happy Thanksgiving to everyone, but especially to Heather F.’s family, who, if this comment on a cranberry sauce recipe is any indication, will be putting up with all kinds of bullshit today
- Another day storing my vanilla extract and liquid smoke next to each other, knowing I’m asking for disaster, doing nothing about it
- “Harry Potter on the island” - my wife, trying to remember the movie “Swiss Army Man”
- This post sure made me reflect on my career in ways I find extremely disorienting
- Having a toddler is like living with a video game NPC. Little dudes running the same dialogue trees and subroutines over and over, and if anything bad happens to them, it’s definitely your fault.
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- I don’t care that he’s probably not in the script, I must play the role of Tingle
- You know what’s a fun word to type? “Onion.” Just a lil’ one cycle. Oniononionionionion Yeah. That’s the stuff.
- Evelyn Waugh is the evil version of Evelyn Ugh
- Low-stakes opinions I’ve formed since becoming a dad: - all playgrounds should have cafés attached - more authors of kids books need a firmer grasp of meter - if daycare is going to cost as much as college, my kid should get some kind of degree out of it - more places should be open before 9 am
- Shout out to this horrifying illustration in my kid’s book
- Hey, what’s up with that scrapey hook thing dentists use? Presumably it’s good for teeth, but I’ve never heard anyone suggest you should have your own. Can I buy my own scrapey hook? Should I???
- Every artistic depiction of watermelon shows it with seeds, but I’ve seen nothing but seedless melon for at least 20 years. That fruit needs to update its profile pic
- It’s kinda funny that your phone has an app called “phone” whose icon is a shittier phone
- Reposted by Mike Trapp[Not loaded yet]
- Some days I feel incredibly lucky to be a homeowner and some days (today, for instance) I learn that bees have built a hive in my chimney and are flying into my living room
- I have completed my transformation into a dad* *(eating the heel slices off the bread to save the more desirable slices for my child)
- Was this article written by a boiled frog?
- When I’m parched nothing quenches my thirst like a tall glass of pea
- One morning the sun came up and POP, out of the egg came a tiny, very hungry caterpillar. On Monday he ate through one apple. But he was still hungry. On Tuesday he ate through two pears, but he was still hungry. On Wednesday he ate through 55burgers55fries55tacos55pies55cokes100tatertots100pizzas
- TV would make you think that crossword puzzle clues are like “Hound (3 letters)” when it’s really more like “1975 MCG oater star Durglan, and others, briefly”
- “I am a free thinker with innovative new ideas,” I say as I eat my corn on the cob vertically. “An early adopter,” I say, gagging and sputtering out kernels
- Front page of LA times this morning is like a too-on-the-nose newspaper a character conspicuously reads in a Mad Max prequel
- Reposted by Mike TrappKOKO THE GORILLA: Koko birkin bag. Practical Koko possession bag RESEARCHER: No, Koko. You can’t have a Birkin bag. KOKO: Good Birkin good Koko give beautiful Koko deserve gorilla RESEARCHER: Koko, we simply can’t afford a Birkin bag. It is an unjustifiable expense. KOKO: jealousy professor
