spoocecow
꧁ ▲ Puffin Cauldron ▲ ꧂
- The best time to eat hard-boiled eggs is between sets at Fuck Gym, The Gym Where You Fuck. the second best time is right now
- RIP Jimmy Fallon. I'll always remember your character "French Stewart"
- [starting a chant at the barbershop] tonsure. tonsure. Tonsure. Tonsure! Tonsure! TONSURE! TONSURE! TONSURE! TONSURE!
- the strongest possible human bonds to forge are "we used to chat on IRC 20 years ago"
- Surly, unfulfilled scientists conjecture there may be "as many as one hundred" germs, bugs, or critters hiding in your shirt at all times. "Fuck it," say scientists, looking out window.
- Reposted by spoocecowi remember white south africans being stupid and evil but maybe that’s just the mandela effect
- With our product's patented new EelMotion™ technology, soon you too can "Feel the Thrill" of Eels 👍
- the song Fucked Reality by Choking Victim is more damn it's true than ever, but I can't sing along with it at work unless I change it to "Sucks Reality"
- I'd say it's about the right time for me to be Smote 👍
- in the process of playing with my toy anagram generator, I have discovered that DERANGED WORDLIST is an anagram for DIRGE AT WORLDS END. figured you should know
- we need more distinct names for our enemies. "white collar crime" and "insider trading" are so dry and uninspiring. used to be, everything got its own name, like "gallows" or "guillotine"
- /nick Bravest_Granmaw_1946
- The 𝑆ℎ𝑜𝑢𝑛𝑒𝑛-𝐴𝑖 Song of J. Alfred Prufrock
- running around coughing up hairballs in solidarity with my trichtillomaniacs
- Trump, Bush, Reagan, etc. all made such a mess because they never learned the true lessons of the world from their cool-but-cute senpai who mysteriously appeared in their class one day?!
- Heh heh heh... Rumors are swirling in the underground, that "Reefer" is "The Bongman's" delight...
- I will NEVER smoke, puff, or toke the 420's pot leaf, marijuana, unless somebody gives me some or it's not too expensive
- I don't know about you, but I'm not doing great. It's time to listen to the Battle Garegga soundtrack really loud www.youtube.com/watch?v=1BK5...
- Reposted by spoocecowChange two rats into guys? Whatever!
- All I wanted was a Brad's Drink, and she wouldn't give it to me!!!!!!! Just one Brad's Drink !!!!!
- Thinking once again . about getting my ass mangled in some giant cartoon gears .
- "adroit" should have been an old medieval preposition meaning "next to a robot"
- I am having a good time with Blue Prince but this happened to me and I was like "dang this game doesn't pull punches huh" and kept going. But my friends are telling me "this is NOT hardcoded, that's fucked, restart your save??". Are my friends correct or am I simply Too Strong (note: I fail a lot)
- the esophagus is named after the time Aesop saw one and said "fuck this"
- Reposted by spoocecow[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by spoocecowi just want to put them in a banjo-kazooie situation
- feeling majorly depressed, or possibly just sunburned
- DISCLAIMER: The following anecdote is not real. I am making it up for attention. Thank you. just heard a guy call beef stroganoff "beef scronagogg"
- Reposted by spoocecow[Not loaded yet]
- Reposted by spoocecowhappy 5th anniversary to the best tweet of the last decade
- A new era dawns! A bird outside has a call that sounds a little bit like someone saying the word "behavior" repeatedly. This is going to help remind me to be a good boy all the time and I am never going to get in trouble again 😀
- Look, I don't have all the answers. Most of the answers elude me, and actually I am not even seeking out the rest of the answers. I don't have any answers. I'm not 100% certain what an answer is. If I cannot pierce an answer's flesh or drink an answer's blood I'm frankly not interested. Anyway,
- is the doctor in Rookie of the Year (1994) exclaiming "funky butt loving!" the wildest line in a classic-style kids movie
- Bold new idea to rekindle prosperity and inclusion in the United States of America: "Jack Off Parks" These are places you go to jack off or do whatever, in public. You can't get too close to anyone else, you have to stay in your own little zone. But you can do whatever there. I think this will help
- One time this old guy asked me if I wanted some rye, and it's like, ``uhh YEAH dude`` of COURSE I do
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- Every time you need to write the phrase "oatmeal fealty", you might be tempted to shorten it to "oatfealty" -- however, this is not recommended by the AP Style Guide.
- We will soon need to phase out the obsolete word "delightful" in favor of the modern and more accurate "delightless"
- I learned the truth at seventeen That love was meant for beauty queens And dogs are dead, with broken hearts Collapsing by the coffee carts The Crystal Lake, it only laughs
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- Had a novel thought this morn... "You mightnot realize, but Bacon is actually pretty EPIC!" (C) spoocecow 2025 All Rights Reserved
- Toilet at work has a doodoo smear on the wrong side. At like 7 or 8 o clock (facing the toilet), big doodoo smear. How did you do this, dude? Good thing there's nothing else going on right now so I can dedicate all my neurons to this
- Reposted by spoocecowcheck this shit out motherfucker (i impose tariffs on every country in the world and tank the economy, its not clear what kind of move i was trying to do)
- Reposted by spoocecow[Not loaded yet]
- My ass hurt. Specifically the top of my ass. Sore to the touch. Don't know why and might never. Done
- Reposted by spoocecow[Not loaded yet]
