Forgive the earnest post here, but one year ago this week, Global Tetrahedron took over The Onion. We've since brought back the paper and ONN, dramatically increased revenue, and hired more writers and artists.
But most importantly, as other places debased themselves, we refused to bend the knee.
Apr 28, 2025 19:57I want to make this clear: We're growing BECAUSE we stuck to who we are in the face of fascism.
Eight days after the election, when everyone was scared, we bought InfoWars. (So was the court, turns out. We're working on it.)
We knew it would be hard, but the world needed it, so we did it.
I want to be clear about this: Fighting for art and speech and jokes and generally not being a piece of shit is good for the soul, obviously.
But it's also good for business.
The places that abandoned their values to get in line and kiss the ring are fading. The Onion is growing.
Hey Cucklumbia! This is how you do it, you sniveling cowards!
bsky.app/profile/colu...https://bsky.app/profile/columbiauniversity.bsky.social
Well, maybe *news* like this actually prevents *news* like this⁉️
theonion.com/ice-agents-w...
ICE Agents Wait At Edge Of Delivery Table To Deport Newborn
Thank you
Stay real!
We love you for it and hope you have redundancy in non us data centers.
Bend the knee to what exactly? Lying media hacks who told us Biden was at the top of his game 😳
❤️!
This pure gold.
keep up the good work
"A satirical newspaper is now America's paper of record" sounds like an Onion-ass headline but here we are.
Area man still manages to laugh at satirical news stories despite *waves arms around* all this 🫡
It sure helps that you are genuinely and ridiculously funny.
Thank you to Mr. Onion carrying forward the dastardly deeds of the Zweibel family
der only way tew handel dat bullee
Tim, thank you so much for the Onion. A very welcome addition to the normal drudge that is the news cycle.
If anyone cut The Onion, I would cry.
Thank you for what you do! I still look back at The Onion's Holy F##king Sh#t: Attack on America 9-11 issue as a master class in humor and healing.
You will bend the knee eventually… to awesomeness!
Look what you just made me do 🥺
Best dollar I ever spent and subsequent subscription
They should really put you in charge of more shit.
