My Favorite Murder Animated.
odcast highlights with cartoon Karen and Georgia. Better than the Simpsons! (Okay, maybe not, but still pretty damn good) @MyFavMurder. #murder#comedy#podcast#animation
POTUS complained to the First Lady that none of the world leaders returned his calls. “Do you think it was the 100% tariffs? Or insisting they become US territories?”
She said that wouldn’t have been enough.
“What was it?”
“Maybe the gold boxes of shit labeled ‘My desk to yours.’”
The Chief of Staff stepped onto the White House lawn. Everything was trashed, from the Potomac to the Pacific. POTUS explained that his cabinet members broke into the Treasury to throw a party with Congress on break. “But who’s going to clean this mess?”
“The taxpayers. Who else?”
POTUS’ new personal aide’s orientation included the day’s transition from West Wing to East. He helped POTUS undress, remove his make up, remove his toupee. His mentor urged him to leave.
“But nothing’s left.” Then he choked.
“His ego’s left. And sucks all the air from the room.”
The First Lady was furious to learn POTUS kept several women on staff as his harem. “Kings had concubines,” he pouted. “Why can’t I?”
The White House lawyer explained that if they were being paid for their services it was prostitution.
“But I’m not paying them. The taxpayers are.”
POTUS wanted to leave a lasting mark on the White House so no one would forget him. He considered painting it gold and calling it the Gold House. An aide suggested he just piss on it to mark his territory. He was joking of course. Unfortunately for the rose bushes, POTUS wasn’t.
My Favorite Murder = My favorite podcast. @MyFavMurder.
Stay sexy and alive. Unless your brothers are Robert and Michael Bever. Then you're SOL and DOA.
#murder#comedy#podcast
Contributed Tweets for @stephens_pt are supplied by people who post on Reddit about the Deep State and Dark Web while looking for someone to love them.
After the religious right seized control of the world’s governments, scientists who survived the purge fled to another planet in search of religious freedom. They discovered a thriving civilization, whose leader’s first question was, “Have you heard the word of Lord V*&bu?”
After the failure of three colonizing missions, Earth authorities insisted the mission must find a planet without sentient beings. They settled on the planet DXF32 which might have succeeded had not the plants been sentient and pissed about plant treatment by humans on earth.
The earth colonists lay claim to the planet YZ77 for the planet Earth, and incorporated them into the Federation. When colonists arrived from the Gliese system, they partitioned the planet which averted military conflict. Until the arrival of colonists from Epsilon Eridani.
The citizens of XP20 made the new earth colonists the guests of honor at their annual festival of space opera, performed from a platform in space and broadcast everywhere. They invited the colonists to join them on stage for the final act of their classic “Sacrificial Banquet.”
Elders of the native population gathered outside the spaceship to greet first colonizing expedition to planet XB1. Taking a lesson from history, Captain Minuit offered to trade beads for land. The chief said, “who do you take us for?” They captured the colonists’ ship instead.
My Favorite Murder = My favorite podcast. @MyFavMurder.
Stay sexy and alive. Unless your brothers are Robert and Michael Bever. Then you're SOL and DOA.
#murder#comedy#podcast
