I shouldn’t be even remotely surprised by this, but something about posting my gfm on my main out of desperation and having it get almost zero engagement is sending me into a despair spiral worse than I’ve had in a long while.
It really feels as if I never even existed and it’s weird.
I know maybe it’s privileged as fuck to even have had any considerable notoriety at any point in my life… but I did also work for it, and I gave a great deal back to my community.
It’s just extra painful because I didn’t give all of it up willingly. I just didn’t have the energy to keep going
It’s frustrating because as much as I had support from my community, what I needed was actual hands on, in person support. I made a decent income but never enough to hire like… a personal assistant or housekeepers lol
I literally just needed help feeding myself and getting out of bed 💀
May 13, 2025 18:07It’s so fucked up to work my fucking ass off to achieve something… anything, with this busted ass body. But I can never sustain it by myself. Everything always inevitably falls apart because my body can’t keep up.
I don’t know what to do. I have lost so much and I don’t think I will ever get it back
