i just don't think cis people understand this supreme court decision is that's coming down in june, in terms of trans people and do we have a future in this country

i try to just like, live my little life, but it's so endlessly frustrating and frightening.

the hostility of this court, this highest court, this embarrassment of court towards trans people — it's so utterly scary. and it hurts, my nation calling me some fraud, dishonorable. because of who i am. the psychic injury to all trans americans is already done.

all democratic lawmakers who pretend to give a fuck about trans people should be sounding every alarm as loudly as possible and calling for an end to this bloodthirsty court. one seat's stolen, two are occupied by men who've openly been alleged to sexually abuse women—like so many in this admin.

if this ruling in june does what they seem to want to do to trans healthcare, there will be so much trans blood on their hands. children will die.

trans adults like me, we are hardly safe. the fuckery will be so severe and so huge. we're already seeing massive abandonment by so many of our so-called cis allies, whose support was as meaningless as their words, it turns out.

ALL CIS ALLIES: please call your reps TODAY and make them feel terrified for trans people and our lives. make them feel the horrors of their silence and what they've allowed. again: the death here is all-but-guaranteed. given access cut offs, suicides. this will affect least privileged kids most.

i'm fucking vibrating with fear today folks. i'm soooo privileged compared to so many trans folk and yet: I'm petrified given how clear it is, this court's *contempt* for trans people. we are so utterly doomed, is how it feels. especially because our cis allies are mostly still snoozing.

this court thinks of me living my truth as me perpetuating some fraud and that is downright offensive. what's offensive is this cis-dominated society that's pretended — contrary to nature and dare i say God — that trans people don't exist.

what's offensive is a cis-dominated media pretending trans people are new or we're some mental illness—when it is in fact abundantly clear, if you read a book or hire journalists who don't suck at their jobs, that we've long existed, especially if you get your head out of your white supremacist ass.

transphobic propaganda has infected our mainstream press, much of it anyway, including institutions i once respected and hoped to one day write for. instead they've become these clearinghouses for misinformation that is, again, making the way for genocide. question now is: what scale, how many die.

I sometimes mention: but even people I once worked with as literal colleagues became infected by transphobic propaganda and under the guise of reporting, gave credence to bad faith actors just asking questions and so forth. they haven't recognized this publicly nor apologized. hideous shit, this.

I dunno, I'm out of fucks so: If Azeen Ghorayshi and Virginia Hughes ever see this: Know I think about your hearts and what the hell happened there, a lot. Just way too much, I think about this.

I also sigh so deeply at all my cis sometime colleagues still taking checks from outlets who are so apparently eager to ruin trans lives.

The NYT and Atlantic in particular owe trans people a gigantic, performative apology, they need to hire better folks for the job... Such outlets really have abetted this real-life horror. And: It's never too late to do better. Admit you got got (by transphobic propaganda), apologize, and change.

Those who've like, doubled, tripled down on the transphobia, even when faced with choruses of cries to stop, I just cannot anymore. It's all so heartless and cowardly.

Sure, the actual fascists are a problem too. But the liberal press that's encouraged all this I feel I have more of a connection to and I feel even more irate at, perhaps because of the betrayal. And the disingenuousness of their actions.

What a trans media type like me so easily sees: The liberal press bungling this so bad is partly why the fascists fixate on trans people as one of their chosen groups to bully

Frankly: If you're cis and you want to reply to me, I'd encourage you to think about whether you can't just use this same energy to instead call your reps. Tell them to support trans rights.

I can get *very* upset about this whole situation, as someone who's an author and journalist and who takes zero pleasure in seeming to be upset with these all-powerful outlets. Nor am I someone who likes starting things... these days certainly not as a meditates daily and doesn't drink kind of guy.

But the media's complicity in all this, it's been such an assault.

I wanna spell out again: They outlaw my healthcare they outlaw me. I can't survive with HRT, full stop. I will die. If not from the-my-bones-need hormones of it all (and my body now lacks ovaries), but I will not survive de-transition, psychologically, not an iota of a doubt in me.

If you're a cis media type who "just asked questions," if you like, repeated transphobic talking points in the guise of doing journalism (without listening to trans people or better yet, having a trans person write / edit the coverage), you contributed to this problem. that's on YOUR conscience.

alright I got super pissed and have much more important shit to deal with today. if you've got it, contribute money to outlets that do actually good coverage of trans people and our lives and the full-scale attack on our futures. divest from platforms that repeat/profit off transphobia and dgaf.

some good ideas of not-transphobic independent journalists/outlets to subscribe to and / or support linked at the bottom of this newsletter whats-helping-today.beehiiv.com/p/reintroduc...

here's another one touching on the very topic of my getting angry and its value — and the comparative value of cis anger with links to a few other pieces whats-helping-today.beehiiv.com/p/what-my-an...