ordinary
Protect immigrants
36 he/him Florida
https://bsky.app/profile/did:plc:pbefxsfoltjuyja64n2eqgsr/feed/aaalqdxj3jv76
- Reposted by ordinarycan you die of too much news
- Reposted by ordinarybra is short for boob restriction apparatus
- Emergency Room medical staff wearing roller skates would save lives
- Reposted by ordinaryeating clean (sliced bars of soap)
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- today was a waste of great shorts
- Reposted by ordinarymy neighbor works for State Farm and we have this fun inside joke where I yell "LIKE A GOOD NEIGHBOR, THERE YOU ARE" whenever I see him, and he yells back "SHUT THE FUCK UP TANAKA" hahaha it's stupid but it's our thing
- a middle schooler telling me im cool would bring me to tears
- Reposted by ordinaryshoutout to cotton candy, the asbestos of sugar
- still charging up my knuckles to be crackable again
- none of you on here will ever be as entertaining as the drama on Nextdoor
- you come home to a trail of rose petals that lead into the bedroom. you follow them. in bed is your husband. naked. having sex with a rose.
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- Reposted by ordinaryBlack licorice is also known as an edible hate rope.
- if i say anything serious i will die
- jazz listeners in Europe listening to Kilometers Davis
- 3 words. frutiger aero summer.
- Reposted by ordinaryA grandma is worth 1,000 ma’s.
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- Reposted by ordinary[addressing everyone at my pet possum's funeral] you guys aren't gonna believe this
- the lion does not concern himself with sleep and nutrition
- the tension between me and the uber eats food just sitting there unguarded on the takeout shelf
- if you said im your Venus im your fire to me id be getting the hell out of there
- found out today that if you accidentally say “hey” to someone you mistake for someone else, they’ll just say “hey” back and strike up a convo to try remember where they know you from
- what do we do when macaroni penguins find out we named them after noodles
- Reposted by ordinaryThis account is NOT a safe space for magicians
- “you’re so quiet” im eating something at all times
- (At a bank robbery) bank: give me all your money!
- it was my understanding that everyone had a MySpace top 8 amount of friends
- if a curb ever got in your way id kick its ass
- there’s nothing sweet to eat in this house
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- imagine you’re late for work and you get stopped by a train but the train doesn’t come. it’s just me. walking the tracks. with a bag tied to a stick. on my way to a new life.
- 100 men vs the volume on an odd number
- (direct deposit hits while getting my oil changed) replace the filter too
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- ok but what if i only have one egg and several baskets
- out shopping and collecting songs on my music identifier app like it’s Pokemon Go
- (eating cold slice of pizza the next morning) hair of the dog
