I’m sure I’m qualified, but I’m not going to give up my weekly trip to the local craft brewery, so swearing to quit drinking if I get hired is out.

I didn't know you were an alcoholic, a felon, a rapist a pedophile and just bat-crap crazy. That's the only qualifications needed for the fascist 🍊💩y🤡's administration

You definitely would be a better one.

It's not worth it. I hear you'd HATE your boss!

Website at USAJOBS was DOGE’d.

We are all more qualified…..

I dunno. Let's check your qualifications. How drunk do you get in the middle of the day? (We're looking for "Very.") How poorly do you throw an axe (Again "Very.)

Given the current situation, a moldy orange peel I just tossed in the compost is also qualified tbh

I think it’ll go out on a massive signal chat.

Just up on the notice board at Murphy's Bar.

Sorry, but I am more qualified!

Not much on USAJOBS these days, but my favorite LinkedIn suggestion lately was GM of a Tesla dealership in Pasadena a few weeks ago lol.

What makes you think that heavy drinking is enough? Have you assaulted someone?

let's practice your interview questions! do you know what "OpSec" means? yes? you're hired!

My dog is more qualified than most of the Cabinet members. Look how smart she is.

The only conclusion I can come to is that you’ve been day drinking.

You might check Craig's List. But if you get scammed, you have no due process.

LinkedIn maybe?

So it's Happy Hour for you too...bottoms up!

Can’t wait to watch your confirmation hearing!