Merrill Markoe
Writer of things intended to be humor and animal lover. I post A LOT of pieces on my Substack page:"Still Looking for the Joke" substack.com/@merrillmarkoe
- fat/shot/drug is the new fuck/marry/kill
- Interesting that a price disparity for a drug only becomes visible when it is an inconvenience to a very very top guy, smart guy very successful very rich and brilliant businessman that most of us would have heard of.
- I decided it was time to expose the underlying LIE behind the omni-present photos ( and film) of "women writers" writing on lap tops while lying on their stomachs. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/women-who-.... (seen below: famous example of this mostly impossible writing position.)
- Holy crap m.youtube.com/watch?v=Buin...
- Wow. Great!
- I didn't get a lot of press but I was very proud of my outfit last night at the Met Gala.
- When your dog has so much separation anxiety that he crawls up through the bathroom sink to be near you.
- I decided to write a piece about what I went through in my "process" of creating and developing the "Merrill Markoe character" who is making intermittent appearances in Season 4 of HACKS. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/my-life-as...
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- Yes. I definitely have been compared to Rascal.
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- I know you will find it hard to believe but this is the very first time I have ever been compared to Audrey Hepburn.
- We all definitely have bigger things to be concerned about....but in case you are a fan of HACKS and were wondering 'what the hell?'....https://latenighter.com/features/the-real-merrill-markoe-on-the-mind-bendy-experience-of-playing-herself-on-hacks/
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- THANKS!
- Friends in Canada! Become the 51st state, and never worry about signing up for social services or wondering about scientific breakthroughs again! No more bothersome environmental protections or judicial system! PLUS daily executive orders about deportations and shower heads! What're you waiting for?
- The new nominees to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame now include the only man I ever beat at Miniature Golf. One of my proudest moments. Congratulations to Warren Zevon and his son, the relentless @jordanzevon.com
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- And may I introduce you to the song wizardry of Mr. Andy Prieboy. There are a lot of Spotify and on You Tube. I picked this one because I made this video.But they are ALL amazing. youtu.be/11TisOHZX9M?...
- For a rewarding in depth explanation of my rich and multi faceted squirrel activities, click here: merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/the-unbear...
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- It was perfect for today.
- Here's a weird irrelevant detail to distract you from whatever piece of the chaos tornado just caught your attention. On the HBO show HACKS, they are introducing a character named Merrill Markoe and apparently hired someone to play her. press.wbd.com/us/image/hac...
- I guess this is where all that expertise in sexual assault and rape finally begins to really pay off.
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- Why? Is the Qanon Shamen too busy?
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- VOILA! No letter will be required!
- In stressful times like these, it is important to acknowledge and enjoy the delightful things in life that make your face light up in a smile. For instance, this:
- I have discovered an important conflict of interest taking place with regard to selection of the Fan of the Day. I would not be at all surprised if it turns out that lthe DOGE bros have made their way into the selection process. (see next piece of this thread.)
- Distressing to see evidence that another one of our democratic institutions appears to have taken a hit. Simon B. is clearly a repeat Fan. Yet everyone remains silent.
- Baby Ground Squirrel wins unanimous vote on this week's "Squirrel of the Day."
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- Great! Staying in one of those classically adorable little Italian towns just outside the city.
- A post on my substack in which I attempt to teach you how to meditate to achieve at least a few minutes of theoretical relief a couple times a day from you-know-who. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/the-markoe... Because a few minutes a day is at least better than nothing.
- TODAY! The DAY OF YOUR DREAMS...(If your dreams involve collecting new vinyl releases and the beloved 80's band Wall of Voodoo.)
- Wake up! It's RECORD STORE DAY! The day YOU or someone you know or someone you never met who buys vinyl has longed for. If you're a Wall of Voodoo fan, there is not only a new live vinyl album out but also a chance to get it signed! Pinch me I must be dreaming. wallofvoodoo2.com/campaigns/10...
- Had a great morning fruit shopping on Dune.
- I wrote a review of A COMPLETE UNKNOWN: the brand new Bob Dylan bio pic. And I guarantee you it is totally unlike any other critique of the film that you are ever going to run in to. merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/a-complete...
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- She is omnipresent, is she not?
- I believe this president's idea of "governing" is to make sure every day is programmed like a talk show, with something attention getting for a cold opening and someone controversial as a lead guest.I wouldn't be surprised if he had bulletin boards full of index cards except he prefers spontaneity.
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- Good point.
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- I think he instinctively thinks. of how to cook up something new each day to goose ratings.
- Wake up! It's RECORD STORE DAY! The day YOU or someone you know or someone you never met who buys vinyl has longed for. If you're a Wall of Voodoo fan, there is not only a new live vinyl album out but also a chance to get it signed! Pinch me I must be dreaming. wallofvoodoo2.com/campaigns/10...
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- Thank you Frank4. It is here: merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/my-puzzlin...
- I wonder if the GOP MENS who keep yelling “Daddy’s home” have realized yet that this is why so many people have stopped talking to their dads.
- Today's SQUIRREL OF THE DAY comes in the midst of a great deal of controversy. That is why once again it is a three-way tie.
- I had a close call with a BOBA driving home on the freeway today when I accidentally inhaled a BOBA all the way up the straw and half way down my throat. It resolved fairly easily, but at the time it occurred to me that there could be no better punchline to an obit than "unfortunate BOBA mishap."
- In terrible times like these, it is important for each of us to have something to which we aspire. One day, and I hope it comes soon, it is going to be my name up there.
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- Congratulations! I knew you had it in you!
- TRY THIS AMAZING LIFE HACK!: One cup (8 oz.) of COLDBREW + 90 seconds in microwave = A SUPER EASY tasty and delicious and ready to drink HOT CUP OF COFFEE!
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- Yes. I am afraid it is true.
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- I am unfamiliar with microwage wattage. I suggest you practice on a cup of water!
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- Now THAT is a reason to be proud!
- Delighted to announce that there was a 3 way tie for Best Squirrel of The Day. Congratulations to our winners.
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- No, Just. Those are THREE different squirrels. I supervised this shoot myself and used my very own hand.
- If you read my last substack about MALE magazine,1958 (which is a glimpse of what America will be like when its GREAT again) and found yourself wondering "Yes...but what about MALE magazine 1968??"...your prayers have been answered! I just wrote about it! merrillmarkoe.substack.com/p/male-magaz...
- Very hard to imagine why Canada and Greenland don't want to be part of a country that offers its citizens no health care, has no department of education and will soon have no other social services. I don't get it. What is wrong with these people?
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- Move and not leave a forwarding address.
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- I am going to go ahead and suggest that you reorganize your thinking on this and realize that it is an ecological triumph with no down side!
- Today's Winning Squirrel:
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- He is using a depilatory.
