If you're transmasc - Can't you just be a masculine lesbian?
If you're butch - Can't you just be a lesbian without being masc?
If you're femme - Can't you just try dating men?
If you're bi - Can't you just date men exclusively?
I'm AFAB. When I came out as nonbinary, I got a lot of people saying "Can't you just be a gender nonconforming woman?" And let me tell you, they were the same people who got mad at me for being a gender nonconforming woman before I was out.
May 11, 2025 13:55The throughline is that they don't want any of us to exist.
When I came out to my father as trans, he said
“Don’t you want to be a lesbian anymore?”
I came out as a lesbian 22 years before that.
22 years is what it took him to embrace my lesbianism.
Oh, well… 22 years and all the transphobia.
Comphet is the slippery slope transphobes and homophobes insist queer self-determination is, and most of them know it.
Can't you just be nOrMaL?!
I've had TERFs tell me in the past that it's okay for me just to be a butch lesbian... I had to explain to them I'm asexual. And they did NOT like that answer, because they think me being asexual and non-binary means I just want attention. 🙄
But yes, they only want conformity to norms.
Reading this is surprisingly validating - story of my dang life, both from things people have said to me since I was a teenager and the things I told myself internally over the years. Damn.
Soon, if you're gay(man) - can't you just date women?
