Dr. Glenn Patrick Doyle
Psychologist; SEEK Safely board president; marathoner. Realistic, sustainable trauma & addiction recovery.
One day at a time.
- Emotional intelligence will absolutely make you the black sheep or scapegoat of an abusive family, church, or peer group-- which is a sign that emotional intelligence & sensitivity are among your MOST potent recovery tools. If "they" consider it a weakness or flaw: look closer.
- Safe relationships take time to build & require consistent effort to sustain-- including our relationship w/ ourselves. Realistic trauma recovery means intentionally rebuilding & nurturing our relationship w/ ourselves, without judgment or shame, every single day. No days off.
- Remember that self-esteem is our relationship w/ ourselves-- & we can choose, with practice & effort, to exclude from that relationship our parents, the church we grew up in, our peer group, or anybody else who distorts & damages it.
- You are worthy of respect, support, & safety, regardless of what you have or have't accomplished, either today or in your life. Stubbornly refuse to buy into cultural metrics of personal "worth" that only exist to hijack your self-esteem & keep you rat racing harder.
- Easy does it. Stay in your lane & work your recovery. Don't let 'em hijack you-- you have life projects to actualize. Breathe; blink; focus. You're okay.
- There is power & calm inside you that "they" cannot imagine or match.
- Certain people are just not going to understand that the reason they don't get to participate in our lives now isn't entirely or necessarily about the past. It's about our recovery commitment to not entertain relationships that make us feel like children or garbage right now.
- Relationships that involve lots of "guessing games" & mind reading are inconsistent with realistic, sustainable trauma recovery. In recovery we need to recognize & purposefully avoid relationships that recreate abuse dynamics.
- Compulsive behavior is not "self discipline." Trauma Brain will try to convince you that certain ascetic compulsions are admirably "disciplined"-- but in reality, it just wants you to keep restricting & denying yourself, because a starving, exhausted you is easier to control.
- Remember: Trauma Brain will convincingly frame every feeling we have & choice we make in the LEAST charitable terms. We're going to FEEL like we're f*cking everything up at every turn-- but it just isn't true, no matter how real it feels. Yes, it's a mind f*ck. But remember.