The Onion news feed
- U.S. Military Bans Men With Girl Names From Combat
- “For too long, we’ve sacrificed combat readiness in the name of inclusivity, ignoring the fact that there are innate differences between a Hank and a male Tracy,” said Gen. Doug H. Sandoval theonion.com/u-s-mil...
- Nation's UPS Men Break Out The Shorts theonion.com/nations...
- “The discrimination these people are facing is absolutely sick—they’re literally hunting them down,” said Trump theonion.com/trump-g...
- Trump Grants Refugee Status To Former SS Guards
- How The U.S. Is Resettling White South African Refugees theonion.com/how-the...
- RFK Jr. Claims Measles Can Be Cured With A Good Concealer
- Disgusting Restaurant Celebrates 30 Years As Small Town’s Only Option theonion.com/disgust...
- Study Finds Growing Gap Between America's Rich and Super-Rich
- UFC Clown Jumps Into Octagon To Distract Irate Fighter theonion.com/ufc-clo...
- Mom, Dad Bickering Over Whether They’ve Seen ‘The Bear’ theonion.com/mom-dad...
- You Can’t Even Watch A Movie Anymore Without Seeing Some Theme Explored theonion.com/you-can...
- Nervous Matt Gaetz Fumbles With Training Bra
- Where did Hollywood go so wrong? I thought movies were supposed to be an escape from reality, a chance to put your worries aside and not have to think about any underlying ideas or concepts. Well, not anymore. theonion.com/you-can...
- Strategies For Decluttering theonion.com/strateg...
- [Not loaded yet]
- This Weeks Editorial Cartoon:
- President Trump To Accept $400 Million Plane Gifted From Qatar theonion.com/preside...
- Mother Extremists Hijack Airwaves To Broadcast Photos Of Their Children
- Car Passengers Launch Urgent, Mid-Street Investigation Into Whether Woman In Parking Spot Coming Or Going theonion.com/car-pas...
- Judges Claim Pizza Deliveries Sent To Their Homes Meant To Intimidate theonion.com/judges-...
- [Not loaded yet]
- [Not loaded yet]
